Every Easter I channel my frustration with my fundamentalist upbringing and ultra-conservative parochial schooling by hosting a Burn-In-Hell Easter brunch. The food is always something that redeems the theme, which might leave something to be desired with those who are devout. Any good brunch involves good drinks, and lots of them. A couple of years ago, when soliciting ideas from friends for the right cocktails to go with inappropriate foods like Fallen Angel hair pasta, the Cheeses of Nazareth, etc. someone showed up with the makings for Rusty Nails. What’s better for an inappropriate Easter theme than a good old-fashioned Rusty Nail or two?
For those who aren’t ready to hit the hard stuff *quite* that hard in the morning, we balance it out with Bloody Mary Magdalenes.
Try these recipes for your own party—I guarantee they will satisfy. But if you laughed at this, you’re going to hell too.
I’ll post the Easter Brunch recipes this weekend, after we get a chance to test and photograph the results.
Rusty Nails
INGREDIENTS
2 ounces Scotch
1 ounce Drambuie
INSTRUCTIONS
Pour the Scotch and Drambuie over ice in a heavy old-fashioned glass, and stir.
Bloody Mary Magdalenes
INGREDIENTS
4 cups tomato juice
Juice of 2 large lemons
3 to 4 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
3 heaping tablespoons prepared horseradish
3 cloves garlic, passed through a garlic press
1 Tablespoon coarsely ground pepper
1 tsp hot sauce (Tabasco doesn’t pack the kick we like, so we opt for hotter sauces)
1 ½ tsp celery seeds
Unflavored vodka, to taste (for us, to taste is a LOT)
Lemon wedges, for serving
Celery sticks, pickled asparagus and hot pickled green beans for serving and munching
INSTRUCTIONS
Place tomato juice in a large container with a tight-fitting lid. Add lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, horseradish, garlic, pepper, celery seeds, and hot sauce; shake vigorously. Taste, and adjust for seasoning; the mixture should be quite spicy.
Pour 1-2 parts vodka and 3 parts Bloody Mary mix over ice in a shaker. Shake well. Pour into glasses. Squeeze a wedge of lemon over drink (do not subsequently stir or shake drink), discard used wedge. Garnish with a large stick of celery (reserve extra stalks for munching), pickled green beans and asparagus and a large lemon wedge.